My new book ONLY BONES is now available in both paperback and e-book from All Due Respect Books.
You can buy the e-book HERE for $2.99.
Or you can buy the paperback HERE for $9.00.
Here are a few of the comics I read this week.
It was a pretty small week for me.
This isn’t everything I pulled. Just a small handful.
The most important thing you need to realize is that the new issue of DEADLY CLASS came out this week and it was awesome and I loved it and I love all of you too.
Also Merry Christmas. Or whatever.
DEADLY CLASS #17
(Rick Remender/Wes Craig)
Okay, so everyone shut up now because the new issue of DEADLY CLASS is out and nothing else matters.
Seriously though, DEADLY CLASS, dude. This book is my jam. My main jam.
It’s my everything.
There are a lot of books that I would label and “one of my favorites” but this book right here IS my favorite. My top, top favorite. I’ve loved this book from issue #1.
I’ve missed it in its three-month absence.
And this issue felt like a welcome home. Like catching up with old friends over a nice, warm cup of tea [I’m drinking tea right now].
This issue is basically just balls to the wall action. There’s death. There’s destruction. There’s heartbreak and love and laughter and happiness.
It’s the start of the freshman final. Which is basically just a battle royale where in order to pass all the students have to kill all the rats.
And it’s fucking awesome.
Someone is shot in the face on like the second page. There is acid thrown. Knives and bombs and death and murder. Alliances are formed. Friendships are betrayed.
And through all of it we are with my main man, Marcus, as he tries to stay alive and not get murdered to death.
You see Marcus is a rat, and literally everyone wants to be the one to kill his ass.
In all honesty Rick Remender is kind of hit or miss for me. I like some of his stuff, most if it probably. But nothing of his has ever really blown my mind. But that’s not the case with this book. With this issue and every other issue of DEADLY CLASS.
I honestly feel that this is the best comic book coming out right now. I seriously, seriously do.
And it doesn’t hurt that Wes Craig’s art is amazing. I’ve not really seen him do much else but all of his work on DEADLY CLASS has really been great.
I can’t recommend this book enough, really.
There’s a running joke at the shop that I must secretly work for DEADLY CLASS (or if not then I totally should) because I’ve seriously gotten a ridiculous amount of people to purchase the book by telling them how fucking awesome it is. By screaming it in their faces until they throw their hands up in surrender and just buy the damn thing already.
(Oh and also: in this issue there’s a character named Durp Flumpdunger – which is probably the best name ever!)
ROBIN SON OF BATMAN #7
(Patrick Gleason/Ray Fawkes/Scott McDaniel)
This is part five of the Robin War event.
Like I said last time, I’m really enjoying this event. But I hate to say that I think this might have been the weakest issues as of yet.
The writing was kind of choppy and clunky and the art seemed inconsistent and lazy. Or maybe sloppy’s a better word for it.
With the writing I think it was maybe because there are two credited writers. Patrick Gleason is credited for the plot and Ray Fawkes is credited with the dialogue. And I think the dialogue is mainly what I had a problem with.
I’m not too familiar with Ray Fawkes. I’ve seen his name here and there. I’ve probably read some things he’s written but if I have none of it has stayed with me. I’m not sure.
As for the plot. There was a lot going on. Good things, too. Things that will play out interestingly in the next issue, I assume. I hope.
The last page reveal was a good one. But I have some ideas on what it means and where it’s going to go. But I obviously can’t post them here because of SPOILERS.
All-in-all I think this was a rather weak issue with some good ideas that were executed poorly.
The next issue in the Robin War event (ROBIN WAR #2) is the conclusion and I hope it’s better than this issue.
PATSY WALKER, aka HELLCAT! #1
(Kate Leth/Brittney L. Williams)
I am not really all that familiar with Hellcat as a character. I was probably first introduced to her in Charles Soule’s awesome SHE HULK series, which was only like two years ago. And I haven’t gotten around to watching Jessica Jones yet…so this is pretty much new territory for me.
When I first saw HELLCAT! announced I was actually hoping it would at least have the same vibe as the most recent SHE HULK book. Unfortunately I’m not sure that it does. But it may just be too soon to tell. Or maybe it’s because I haven’t read SHE HULK since it was coming out.
But also: that’s not to say that this book is bad or anything because it didn’t really have the SHE HULK vibe I was hoping for. Because it’s not. I don’t think so, at least.
The first issue was fun and light-hearted and quirky. And I think it might prove to be an entertaining read as it continues to come out.
The basic story here is Patsy Walker, aka HELLCAT!, is trying to get her life together after it all starts to fall apart in one avalanche of a crap day.
Nothing groundbreaking, I’ll admit. But like I said it was fun and light and breezy.
(Charles Soule/Ron Garney)
I am digging this new Daredevil. But then again I’ve always liked Daredevil so maybe I’m biased.
Seriously though, aside from the soundtrack and a few minor things, I actually even like the Ben Affleck Daredevil movie.
Shut up, I don’t care how much of a pile of crap you think that movie was.
The first thing that stands out about this new Daredevil series is the art. I love it. Ron Garney’s art with Matt Milla’s colors. It’s a nice thing to look at.
And I really like the black Daredevil suit with the red accents. The way it pops. Looks kind of like SIN CITY a bit to me.
The story so far is okay. It’s good but it’s nothing spectacular. I’m not really digging Tenfingers. But I do like the idea of his church and his followers. I think there’s a lot to that. A lot of fun ways this story can play out.
As you know from the first issue. Matt Murdock is now a prosecutor. He’s switched sides. Now he works in the D.A.’s office. And I like that, because after the speech he gave Billy Li in the first issue, he’s a total badass.
And I think as the story progresses this will give us a bit of conflict.
It’s funny because a customer came into the shop yesterday and was saying that she hates that he is now a prosecutor. Because she’s a defense attorney and because, in her words, prosecutors are the enemy.
And I like that in this issue we get a bit more background on Daredevil’s new sidekick (or whatever he is) Blindspot.
My biggest complaint with the book is that we’re still not getting a lot of info about what’s really going on. About how he went from being publicly outed as Daredevil to having his identity secret again. About what happened between him and Foggy. About why he’s no longer in California.
About a lot of thing.
But I like Charles Soule’s writing. And as a working attorney himself I feel like he is the perfect writer for a book like this.
I’m excited for the things to come. Especially with the last page reveal here.
(Brian K. Vaughn/Fiona Staples)
Brian K. Vaughn is definitely at the top of my favorite comic writers list. I’ve always liked his stuff and I recently read PRIVATE EYE and that’s probably going to end up being the favorite book I’ve read this year.
It’s great and he’s great and SAGA’s great and just…yeah, great.
I’ve always liked SAGA, though, so it’s no surprise I liked this issue, too.
The art is amazing. Fiona Staples work is always beautiful. The story was good. It’s nice to see Marko and Alana working together again.
This issue had it all. Action. Adventure. New aliens. Sex and nudity. And also Ghus. (I love that little guy).
Like it always has been, this issue of SAGA was just a fun read.
(Dennis Hopeless/Javier Rodriguez)
I really like Spider-Woman as a character. I was somewhat underwhelmed with the last series (back before the world ended in SECRET WARS…or whatever happened). But this newer series has been pretty good so far.
Jessica Drew’s super pregnant and no one knows who the father is and she’s not talking. It’s a weird premise, kind of. I guess. But it’s been okay.
In this issue she’s waiting in the hospital that Captain Marvel recommended to her and the place is taken hostage by a bunch of Krulls. And it’s up to Spider-Woman and a rag-tag group of other super pregnant aliens to fight them off.
I feel like Javier Rodriguez’s art is perfect for this book. It’s kind of light and airy and playful. The same kind of vibe I’m getting from the writing. The colors are good and bold and deep.
I just think everything about this book looks good and I’m interested in seeing where this thing goes.
(John Layman/Rob Guillory)
Chew is a book I’m honestly not even sure why I continue to read. I pick it up every month when it comes out and I read it and I say the same thing. That I’m done. That I won’t read another issue. But then next month another issue comes out and I read it and I start all over again.
Now there’s nothing inherently wrong with the book. It’s fun and John Layman’s writing is fine and inventive, and Rob Guillory’s art is always good.
But for me at least there’s just nothing else there.
I’m just not feeling it anymore.
In this issue Tony and Savoy meet up to discuss something important. Savoy’s hired a guy that can essentially send you back in time if you dine with him. They go back in time. Crazy/weird shit happens. They argue.
And yeah. That’s about it.
I think maybe now I’ll actually be done with this book. I read too many other comics to continue with a book I’m not feeling completely.
I don’t know.
(Eric Kripke/John Higgins)
Here’s how JACKED #2 can easy be described. Fat, shitty dude takes magic pills becomes less shitty. He feels better. He fucks better. His kid actually likes him. Rescues woman from abusive coke-dealer boyfriend. Fights a dude. Fights a dog. Is hero to all.
There’s not much else to the story. Add some totally bitching swear words and you have JACKED.
I’m kind of bummed because I honestly was hoping this book would be better. I was hoping it would be something kind of like Grant Morrison’s THE FILTH. It has the same kind of look to it. But, sadly, it’s not.
And it’s also not very good. I don’t care about the character or what he’s doing or this super awesome ultra magic pill he takes.
Sadly, though, this is how I’ve kind of felt about all of the new Vertigo books that have been coming out. They all showed up with a lot of promise but they just haven’t really delivered yet.
VENOM SPACE KNIGHT #2
(Robbie Thompson/Ariel Olivetti)
I’ve never really read any Venom before. And honestly I’ve never really cared about the character at all. But the thing that drew me to this book was the art.
Ariel Olivetti’s art is ridiculous. I’m not sure if it’s digital or painted…or a combination of both…or maybe even something else entirely. Something I have no idea about at all.
But whatever it is, and however he does what he does, it’s beautiful.
And seriously, in my opinion it’s worth checking out the book for the art alone.
It’s kind of funny. But when I was first getting back into comics in 2011, I was more about the story. About the writing. I think it’s because I’m a writer myself and the story really needs to be good to keep me invested in it. So art was always second to the writing. But as I got more and more into comics these past few years and with the wide variety of the comics I read, I’m starting to think that maybe the art is more important.
If not more important than at least equally important.
The story here is okay. It’s not great but it’s good. Flash Thompson is kind of annoying with his little quips as he’s fighting. Or whatever. He just reminds me of Spider-man or maybe even Deadpool in that regard.
But it’s a space adventure (hence the title of the damn book) and I’m a sucker for cool sci-fi space shit.
And I’ve been pleasantly surprised with how much I’ve enjoyed these first two issues.
I love it when a book comes out of nowhere – from completely off my radar – and it’s something I’m truly having fun with.
Also, seriously, dude, the art – DAMN!
EXTRAORDINARY X-MEN #4
(Jeff Lemire/Humberto Ramos)
This is a pretty busy issue. But I think it’s because Ramos’ art is a bit over-stimulating. It’s too frantic and busy. I think.
It also, in my opinion, doesn’t really fit the story.
I’m a huge fan of Lemire’s, though, which is probably why I’m still reading this book at issue four anyway. But this issue is definitely good. And the last page reveal here is CRAZY. And I’m definitely excited to see what’s going to happen next.
The basic story here is the terrigen mist is killing off all mutants. And Sinister is trying to “save” the mutants. (By kidnapping them and experimenting on them – but whatever).
But seriously the story’s decent and just enough to keep me coming back for the next one.
BATMAN & ROBIN ETERNAL #12
(James Tynion IV/Scott Synder/Ed Brisson/Javier Pina/Goran Sudzuka)
I really didn’t want to like this book.
I really, really, really didn’t want to.
The idea of getting into another weekly book from DC seemed like too much. Too many issue. Too much time. Too much money.
From my past experiences with weekly books they’re too messy, too full of fluff. I don’t know.
But that’s beside the point. Because I’ve been really enjoying BATMAN & ROBIN ETERNAL. And this issue was no different. The art could have maybe been a little better but it wasn’t too bad. And the story was solid.
It was just Dick and The Sculptor inside some shared brain space digging through Mother’s past.
And it was good.
I’d been waiting to get some more information on Mother, the strange, super powerful lady that made her name creating made-to-order children for the uber-rich.
We get some of Batman’s interaction with her (but I have some thoughts on that – which I won’t share here because of SPOILERS – but hopefully they will be addressed next week).
Also anything with Harper Row (aka Bluebird) I’m totally into.
So I work part-time at a comic book shop.
I read about 20-30 comics a week, give or take.
These are a few I read this week.
JUSTICE LEAGUE #46
(Geoff Johns/Francis Manapul)
Most of the members of the Justice League are now New Gods and they’ve been off dealing with their own shit (as seen in the series of, in my opinion, rather weak one-shots over the last few weeks). Which leaves the few “non-god” members are left to fight off Darkseid’s loyal followers. And it’s looking like it’s up to Wonder Woman to hold this team together.
The story this month was good. It wasn’t great, as nothing major happened. Aside from a surprise character appearance and a few smaller things here and there.
But the art is where this issue really shined.
Francis Manapul is my DUDE!
Seriously, his art is this issue is on point. It’s maybe some of the best I’ve seen him do, even though I’m rather new to his work.
It was really just truly beautiful.
WE ARE ROBIN #7
(Lee Bermejo/Carmine Di Giandomenico)
This is part four of the Robin War event.
And I have to say I’m surprised at how much I’m really enjoying the thing. I’m not a huge fan of events as it is but I think they’re handling this one just right. Not too many issues (a small mini-series that crosses only a few titles – so it’s not too painful a thing on the old wallet), good art across the board, and a solid, enjoyable story.
The story this time: We’re with all our Robins still trapped in the futuristic cage prison thing. The Court of the Owls show up and pit Tim Drake and Jason Todd against each other in a fight to the death, in an attempt to find the next Gray Son of Gotham.
I’m also really enjoying the Dick Grayson/Gordon-as-Batman team-up.
And also basically any time Damian opens his mouth you know it’s going to be good and snarky and bratty.
That little dude’s a badass. Obviously.
The art in this part of the event is by Carmine Di Giandomenico, who I’m not super familiar with, but I thought it was good and fun and fit the story great.
(Robert Kirkman/Ryan Ottley)
Invincible is always one of my favorite books. It’s always one of the first I read when it comes out. Basically, I just fucking love everything about it.
I’m kind of embarrassed to say that I was super late to the Invincible party. I didn’t start reading it until this year. After months of being harassed and abused by my fellow comic shop employees for never having read the thing. They were unrelenting. They said very hurtful things. They hit me and spit at me. It’s a good thing I always have at least one or two knives on my person, or I may not be here today.
But anyway, once I started reading it, I was hooked. I was so into the book that I read all 21 trades back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to…well, you get it. And then quickly caught up on the rest of the issues to take me up-to-date with the story.
But so, the reboot?
My only problem with it, honestly, is that it was only three issues. It just seems like a weird side-step. But in this issue we do find out why he was sent back in time. And the ramifications of his time-travel.
So I like it but I was still a bit disappointed in it. I just don’t feel that there was enough to it. Maybe if they stretched it out over a few more issues there could have been more of an impact. Maybe he could have traversed through his past a bit more. Maybe, but I don’t know.
And then also there’s the hard bit of info we get in the letters page. Not going to spoil anything there though. Just let me say that I’m sorry and I’m hurting too.
THE GODDAMNED #2
(Jason Aaron/r.m. Guera/Giulia Brusco)
Jason Aaron is another one of my DUDES.
I’m a huge fan of his work. SOUTHERN BASTARDS is one of my favorite current on-going books and his THOR stuff is great too. I’m currently working my way through SCALPED (another one I was harassed for not having read) and I’m really, really enjoying it, though it did take a bit, maybe one or two of the trades, for me to really get into the story. I’m most of the way through the seventh trade now and I’m totally loving it. I imagine I’ll have the rest of them finished before the end of the year.
And on top of that, he’s got a great beard, a great attitude (from some interviews I’ve read with him), and he just seems like a cool dude.
So, yeah, Jason Aaron is my DUDE!
I remember when I first heard that he was getting back together with r.m. Guera and that they were going to take on the bible, I was immediately on-board.
Because basically anything Jason Aaron is doing I’m on-board with.
I’m sad to say that this book hasn’t hooked me yet. It hasn’t gotten into me yet the way his other stuff has. It has all the classic Aaron pieces I’ve come to love but I just haven’t clicked with it yet.
I’m not giving up on it, not by any means (same way I feel about DOCTOR STRANGE and THE MIGHTY THOR). I have faith that Jason Aaron will hook me, much the way he did with SCALPED. And I’m fine with giving him the time to do it.
Basically I’m cool with just reading anything and everything the dude writes.
BATMAN EUROPA #2
(Matteo Casali/Brian Azzarello/Giuseppe Camuncoli)
This is another book I wasn’t sure about, even after reading the first issue. The idea of the book alone strikes me as something you’d maybe read in a shitty bit of amateurish fan-fiction.
Joker and Batman teaming up to find a cure for a disease they were both infected with. I don’t know, man.
But all told, I’m actually digging the book. The art alone is amazing. But really, the shining star in this book, for me at least, is the Joker. I just love how much fun he’s having with the whole thing. As he and Batman hurry across Europe, trying to track down a cure, and also whoever may have infected them.
Batman’s all worried and serious about the whole thing, as he tends to be, and Joker’s just living it up. He’s just happy to be teaming-up with his boy, Bats.
A couple times Batman has to even remind him that they are in fact dying and that they need to get to work. That they’re not actually on a vacation, and that there isn’t really any time for sight-seeing.
So I’m digging it, yeah. It’s nothing groundbreaking or anything like that. But it’s just a fun little 4-parter mini-series.
And I’m excited to see the duo hit up Paris in the next issue.
UNCANNY INHUMANS #3
(Charles Soule/Steve McNiven)
I like Charles Soule a lot. I don’t know if I’d go as far to say that he’s one of my DUDES just yet. But I usually enjoy his stuff. So I’ll say that he’s maybe in the DUDE reserves. Or something. I have no idea what I’m even talking about.
Anyway, I’ll be honest here, I don’t really know shit about the Inhumans. I don’t have much history reading the characters and I don’t really know anything about them individually.
I do know, though, especially after this issue, that Black Bolt is a total badass. Seriously.
This issue finds the Uncanny Inhumans teaming up against Black Bolt and Medusa’s son, Ahura. And we find out what’s happened to him while he was serving under Kang, and why he hates the Inhumans, and what the hell is going on…kind of, maybe. Again these characters are all brand new and kind of foreign to me so I’m probably missing some stuff here, vital information or whatever.
But McNiven’s art is always great, and after a shaky first issue I think he’s really done his best on the series, so far, in this issue.
I’m looking forward to the next issue.
(Grant Morrison/Dan Mora)
The first thing that struck me about this series is that it’s goddamn Santa’s origin as told by Grant Morrison. After reading the first issue I was all in. Great art and the thing seemed like it was going to be a violent ride.
Plus, did I mention that it’s Grant Morrison writing Santa’s origin!!!
In issue 2 we see Klaus (aka Santa) basically just being a badass. He sneaks into the village with a sack of toy slung over his shoulder and proceeds to deliver them to all the oppressed children. This is a village where all toys are banned. Collected and given to the village rulers’ son, the brattiest little kid you ever wanted to punch in the face a bunch of times.
Klaus fights a bunch of dudes and sneaks about. He’s already becoming quite the myth. The townspeople refer to him as the Yuletime Spirit
Dan Mora’s art is amazing.
He’s a name I’ve seen here and there more and more recently. And after this book, he’s definitely an artist I’m going to be looking out for.
Klaus is an exciting and fun book and I’m excited to see where it goes in the next four issues.
(Mark Millar/Rafael Albuquerque)
This is another book I was super excited to hear about. And after reading the first issue I began recommending it to customers in the shop as a kind of subdued SLING BLADE. A simpleton superhero. A normal schmo with some unexplainable abilities.
I’m obviously a huge Millar fan and I really liked that HUCK #1 was a bit more wholesome than his usual style.
Huck’s just an all-around good guy. He likes helping people. He tries to do at least one good deed a day. It’s kind of nice to think about.
Imagine the world if every one of us set out to do just one good thing a day. It’d be nice. I think.
But now Huck’s secret is out and the media is literally pounding on his door to break this story. The story of the small-town gas station attendant that helps people. But Huck can’t just hide away from them. Because there are people out there that need to be helped.
He moves about the crowd and people ask him to help them locate a missing husband or a missing daughter or a missing dog. And Huck writes it all down and gets to work with the helping.
This issue felt kind of rushed to me. There wasn’t much in the way of character development or anything like in the first issue. We get a few flashes of something weird that happened in Siberia in 1981 at the very beginning of the issue and we are introduced to two new characters briefly at the very end.
The cliffhanger is strong in this issue.
So while I’m enjoying the character and the overall feel-good nature of this story I just don’t think issue 2 was all that great.
But this is Mark Millar we’re talking about here so I’m guessing he’s got all of this under control.
MS. MARVEL #2
(G. Willow Wilson/Takeshi Myazawa)
I was late to pick up the previous run of MS. MARVEL. I just recently read all four trades, and I just really enjoyed the fun, kind of light-hearted story.
Sometimes it’s good to read something that’s just fun. Not everything has to be all doom and gloom.
It’s okay to smile and laugh sometimes.
It was a good series that I felt hit a rough patch with all the SECRET WARS stuff (which I’m loving, don’t get me wrong, I just think it put an abrupt end to numerous series that weren’t ready for it).
But we’re back now and Ms. Marvel is back at it. Although she’s still slightly confused about what actually happened with the whole world-ending-but-not-really-ending thing. She just knows that time passed and now she’s an Avenger (which is awesome) and Bruno has a new girlfriend (which is not at all awesome).
Plus there’s a mysterious real-estate group buying up all the homes and businesses in JC.
So it’s Ms. Marvel against Hope Yards.
It’s Ms. Marvel against gentrification. It seems.
But obviously this is not some simple neighborhood revamp. Far from it.
I’m definitely still enjoying this book. The writing is good and the art fits the tone and feel of the story.
The last page reveal is for sure going to kick things up a notch for Kamala.
TOKYO GHOST #4
(Rick Remender/Sean Murphy)
I’m digging TOKYO GHOST. Both the writer and the artist are two of my DUDES. I like a lot of Rick Remender’s stuff. But my top-top-top Remender book is DEADLY CLASS. After that I’m basically on-board with just about anything he does.
And Sean Murphy, man. His art is insane. I just can’t even with it.
I’ll get any book Sean Murphy does the art for. No questions asked.
This is a violent issue. Violent and bloody and sword-fighty. That’s awesome enough to begin with but to see it all drawn out on the page by Sean Murphy is so much better. And Matt Hollingsworth’s colors really complement his work well.
The story shows us a bit of Teddy’s past with the Constables. Back when he was high on the tech and known as Led. Back before they left and he promised to get off the web.
We see some of the people from Teddy’s past. The people that brutalized him when he was a child, the people that basically drove him to the Constables. And we see what he did to them when he was stronger, when he wasn’t the weak kid they preyed upon.
And, man, it was intense.
Not a whole lot else happened in the issue. Just a pretty epic samurai fight across the beautiful scenery and down a whole bunch of waterfalls. But two things happened at the end of the issue that leave me wanting more.
TOKYO GHOST is no DEADLY CLASS but it’s still an enjoyable story. And I’m looking forward to see what happens next.
THE MIGHTY THOR #2
(Jason Aaron/Russell Dauterman)
I want to preface this by saying that I really like Jason Aaron. He’s one of my top favorite writers. He’s my DUDE!
But..but…but…I’m afraid he’s starting to stretch himself a little thin – with huge titles like SOUTHERN BASTARDS (which he took a little break from last issue), DOCTOR STRANGE, THE GODDAMNED, and THE MIGHTY THOR. I’m afraid to say that they’ll all been kind of…underwhelming as of late.
That’s not to say that this issue of THE MIGHTY THOR is bad. Because it’s not. It’s good and fine. I just wasn’t feeling it. It felt like a step back, so to speak. I don’t think anything happened and I’m really not a fan of Malekith. And the Frost Giants. And Loki. There’s just a lot of stuff going on here that I’m not into.
I don’t know.
But Dauterman’s art is primo. And Matthew Wilson’s colors are great.
But I’m just sorry to say that I wasn’t feeling this issue.
(Robbie Thompson/Tana Ford)
Cindy Moon can’t get her shit together. She’s got too many things on her plate. Being a superhero, being a super villain, working for Fact Channel under the always lovely J Jonah Jameson, and also not sleeping…like ever.
This book is kind of a stressful mess but I feel like that was the point. You can really get a feel that Silk is barely keeping her head above water.
The art in this issue (by Tana Ford) was good but I didn’t think it really fit the issue. It just felt a little too cartoony.
I really enjoyed Silk’s previous series but I’m sorry to say that this one is close to getting cut from my monthly haul. I’ll give it another issue or two though.
I always feel bad when I decide it may be time to break up with a book. I don’t know why. It’s weird.
Click here to buy NAKED FRIENDS by Justin Grimbol
Justin Grimbol’s books are the best.
They are about life and being fat and having fun and being alive. And also butts. They are all about butts. So many butts.
And NAKED FRIENDS is no different.
Boner is just a normal dude. He’s just living life. Eating meatloaf and living in his tricked out, totally metal pimp my ride minivan. He’s fat, but it’s okay because women love the flub. And he has definitely never licked a butt.
One day while he’s hanging out in his minivan, checking facebook or whatever, he receives a message from someone requesting his services as a private investigator. Which is weird because Boner is not a private investigator.
Life, man, it’s always throwing you curveballs.
Before he can simply ignore the message he remembers that he sometimes posts random silly ads to craigslist. Ads in which he offers his services as a massage therapist (specializing in butt massages) or as a video game specialist. Or even as a private investigator. But his customers are always catching on to the fact that he isn’t a professional, so they never really amount to anything.
But he really could use the money. So he goes to meet the guy.
His client, Jake, is a weird dude. And he’s convinced that he’s being followed by two muscular guys who are trying to rape him.
Throughout the investigation Boner will interact with sexy nerds and D&D players and exercise-crazy grandmothers and an old friend who goes by the name The Doctor and his three crazy girlfriends.
There will be drugs and booze and, yes, the licking of butts.
Like most of Justin Grimbol’s other books NAKED FRIENDS is fun and ridiculous and gross and silly. But it is so much more than all of that. His characters are real. They have history and personalities. They have heart. They are real people. They hurt and love and laugh.
It’s refreshing, reading Justin Grimbol. There’s an energy in his work that I don’t really see in most other writers.
I love Justin Grimbol. I love his writing, and I love him as a person.
He’s one cool dude.
I am very very very pleased to announce two new anthologies featuring some of my short fiction.
First we have: STRANGE SEX 2: THE SECOND CUMMING from Strangehouse Books.
Click HERE to buy the kindle version (paperback CUMMING soon).
Here’s the sexy table of contents:
Tiffany Scandal – FLAT LIKE KEN
John Bruni – ZERO RECALL
MP Johnson – GROUPIE
Kristen M. Tepe – PROJECT 628
Daniel Vlasaty – THE SEX BUS IS ALWAYS THE RIGHT BUS
Garrett Cook – RAPECOPTERS
Gabino Iglesias – MANDINGO PARTY MASSACRE
Brian Williams – N.A.D.S.
Gregor Cole – CAVALCADES OF CADAVERS
William Tea – RULE 34
Rich Bottles Jr. – PINKFISH
Kevin Strange – HOLEY MATRIMONY
and here’s a link to the video chat all the STRANGE SEX 2 authors did a few weeks ago (viewer beware: there is much penis talk here):
STRANGE THE WORLD EPISODE 6: STRANGE SEX 2
Next we have: THE BIZARRO ZOMBIE ANTHOLOGY THAT WOULDN’T DIE! from Dynatox Ministries.
Click HERE to pre-order this SPECTACULAR book (it will be shipping in September).
Featuring stories by:
William Pauley III
I am currently working on editing my non-fiction/poetry collection called AMPHETAMINE PSYCHOSIS, trying to meet a self-imposed deadline.
Here’s another excerpt.
The stars above me become airplanes flying through the dark. Everything is moving. And if I try hard enough it’s like I can feel the rotation of the planet beneath me. Like I can feel myself moving through space.
I can feel the whole planet.
And the airplanes are flying above me. Flashing their red and blue lights. And the stars are not hidden by clouds.
It’s three in the morning and I’m pacing along the lake. Lake Michigan. The beach closed hours and hours ago. It’s the same beach we used to come to when we first moved to the city. With a case of beer and a water bottle full of vodka. And some friends. And we’d have a fire, until the police came to kick us out. This beach. It’s quiet and lonely now. Not like it used to be.
I am alone on the beach.
I bury my feet in the cold sand and just listen. There’s nothing but the water lapping against the shore and the beating of my heart. That irregular thud against my hollow bones.
The lake is a black pit in the darkness. There is nothing alive out here. And it’s too quiet for such a populated city. How could it ever be this quiet?
I dig around in the sand. Feel it clump up against my sweaty skin. I think about sandcastles. About how I never remember building one. Ever. Growing up on the south side of Chicago, we didn’t make it to the beach often. Even though it was so close. We didn’t make it out of the neighborhood as much as we probably should have.
A dog barks somewhere and I think about walking out into the black waters. I think about walking forever. I think about walking out to the middle of the lake and letting my body sink hundreds and hundreds of feet to the bottom.
I think about letting myself drown out in the middle of Lake Michigan. I think about dying in a place where no one will ever find me. And I can truly be free. Alone for all eternity.
I think about holding my breath until I am able to breath under water. And that way I’ll never have to come back to this place.
But I don’t do any of that. I just fall back into the sand and look up at the stars and the airplanes and the birds flying there. And I dry-swallow another pill and listen to the sound of my heartbeat and the lapping of the lake against the shore until it all becomes the same thing.
And I watch the night become day again. And I hear the city wake up around me.
The small pile of yellow powder is a mountain. Right there on the coffee table in front of me. An entire bottle crushed to dust. The small mom-and-pop pharmacy by our new apartment worked fine. Or maybe my prescription forging skills are just improving. Maybe I’m just that good.
Maybe they’ll make a movie of me someday. Of my forging prescriptions and drug abuse and life in prison. My life of crime. My life at the bottom.
Maybe I’ll get clean and write that movie.
Maybe someone will actually want to watch it. But probably not. Because there are already a million movies like that. A million life stories that aren’t worth shit to anyone. Not even the person living it.
No one will want to watch it because who the fuck am I?
I’m just a person with a mountain of yellow powder on the coffee table in front of me. I’m just a person with nothing to do and nowhere to be for the foreseeable future. I’m just a man about to snort my weight in crushed pills.
I’m just a man that’s going to get to the moon, one way or another.
By the time my yellow mountain is gone I will have seen my own death a million times. I will have replayed my life over and over again. I will have rewrote my history until my past was something more big-screen worthy.
By the time I am finished here my heart will have stopped beating more times than should be possible. And I will take a deep breath and hold it in until the sun replaces the moon in the sky.
By the time my drugs are gone there will be nothing left but to sleep.